Knocked Up (2007)
Katherine Heigl: Alison Scott
Photos
Quotes
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Ben Stone : Do you want to do it doggie style?
Alison Scott : You're not going to fuck me like a dog.
Ben Stone : It's doggie style. It's just the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.
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Jack : ...there's gonna be some things that you are going to be able to get, that other people in the office don't get... one of them: Gym membership.
Alison Scott : You want me to lose weight?
Jack : [laughing] No, I don't want you to lose weight!
Jill : No, uh, we can't legally ask you to do that.
Jack : We didn't say lose weight... I might say tighten.
Alison Scott : Tight?
Jack : Tighter.
Jill : Just liked toned and smaller.
Jack : Don't make everything smaller, I don't wanna generalize that way... tighter.
Jill : We don't want you to lose weight, we just want you to be healthy. Y'know, by eating less.
Alison Scott : OK.
Jill : We would just like it if you go home and step on the scale, and write down how much you weigh, and subtract it by like, 20.
Alison Scott : 20.
Jill : And then weigh that much.
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Alison Scott : I was drunk!
Ben Stone : Was your vagina drunk?
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Alison Scott : I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone : Pregnant... with emotion?
Alison Scott : Pregnant with a baby.
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Jack : We decided that, we want you to be on camera.
Alison Scott : Oh my god, really?
Jill : I know, I was so surprised too.
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Alison Scott : Why don't you go fuck your fucking bong you fuck!
Ben Stone : I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once!
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Alison Scott : I love your curly hair! It's great... do you use product or anything?
Ben Stone : No... I use, uh, jew it's called.
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Ben Stone : You know, the best thing for a hangover is weed. Do you smoke weed?
Alison Scott : Not really.
Ben Stone : You don't?
Alison Scott : No.
Ben Stone : At all?
Alison Scott : Uh-uh.
Ben Stone : Like... in the morning?
Alison Scott : No... I just... don't.
Ben Stone : It is, like, the best medicine. 'Cause it fixes everything. Jonah broke his elbow once. We just... got high and... it still clicks but, I mean, he's ok.
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Alison Scott : I hope your apartment's big enough for the three of us.
Ben Stone : Oh it definitely is. That's why I got one in East LA. The rent, it's HUGE. The only thing is we have to decide if we're gonna be Crips or Bloods before we get there.
Alison Scott : Well, I look good in red.
Ben Stone : I look good in blue... The fighting continues.
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Alison Scott : [to Debbie] What do you think? He's funny, right?
Ben Stone : [to Debbie's kids] Fetch!
Debbie : [to Alison] He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.
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Ben Stone : [laughing while Pete and Debbie are fighting several feet away] That guy said 'Don't let the door hit your vagina on the way out!'
Alison Scott : I heard him.
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Alison Scott : I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bong.
Ben Stone : It's okay... I didn't...
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Alison Scott : Why don't you go FUCK your FUCKING Bong?
Ben Stone : I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once!
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Alison Scott : Just do it!
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Ben Stone : What time is it?
Alison Scott : 7:30
Ben Stone : Why the fuck are we awake? Let's go back to sleep.
Alison Scott : I have to go to work.
Ben Stone : Really?
Alison Scott : Uh, do you need to... get to work or anything?
Ben Stone : No, I'm uh... no work today hahahaha.
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Alison Scott : I'm actually doing my first on-air interview today.
Ben Stone : With who?
Alison Scott : Uh, Matthew Fox.
Ben Stone : Matthew Fox from Lost?
Alison Scott : Yeah.
Ben Stone : You know what's interesting about him?
Alison Scott : What?
Ben Stone : Nothing!
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Alison Scott : [discussing her pregnancy with her mother] I don't have to tell them right away, I'm only gonna start to show when I'm like, I don't know, 6 months or something like that.
Alison's Mom : 3 months.
Alison Scott : No way.
Alison's Mom : Fat in the face, jowls, fat ass.
Alison Scott : Debbie didn't get fat.
Alison's Mom : Debbie is a freak of nature.
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Ben Stone : [to Alison] I'm sorry I'm sweating on you...
Alison Scott : Okay, just stop talking.
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Jack : So, we did some research, and, turns out, people like pregnant.
Alison Scott : Oh my God!
Jack : The bigger you are, the bigger your numbers.
Jill : I was surprised, because I feel the opposite.
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Ben Stone : Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
Alison Scott : And a little bit Spanish...?
Ben Stone : Yeah, I'm not very good with accents.
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Alison Scott : Hey...
Ben Stone : I'm naked.
Alison Scott : Yeah.
Ben Stone : [whispers] Did we have sex?
Alison Scott : Yes.
Ben Stone : Nice.
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Alison Scott : Is she camera ready ?
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Jill : [walking past Alison] Hey, Alison, great job.
Alison Scott : Oh, thanks!
Jill : [walking away] ... for you...