- The Toxic Avenger: You fat slob. Let's see if you've got any guts.
- [Toxie then punches the mayor in the stomach and rips out his guts]
- The Toxic Avenger: Officer O'Clancy, take care of this toxic waste.
- Cigar Face: I owe you for the other night monster faggot. So now we're going to give you six new assholes. Compliments of me Cigar Face.
- The Toxic Avenger: And you can tell all your scum friends that things are gonna change in this town. I'm not just another pretty face.
- Officer O'Clancy: No way, you're wasting your time.
- Cigar Face: That's where you're wrong. YOU'RE wasting our time. And now we're gonna waste you!
- [Cigar Face is counting money, while Knuckles is counting out loud]
- Knuckles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
- Cigar Face: When we lay this wad on O'Clancy, the boss is going to have him by the balls.
- Nipples: I don't think O'Clancy will take the money. Everyone says he's a honest cop.
- Knuckles: He don't take the dough, I'm going to give him a blow.
- Leroy: Hey look Frank. Teeny-boppers. You like video games teeny-boppers? Your mommy give you quarters for video games? Well cough 'em up.
- Sara: Why Melvin you're beautiful. You're a beautiful person. You're so muscular. It's been two years since I've touched a man.
- [from trailer]
- Narrator: Meet little Melvin, he's a 90 lb. weakling. Everyone hated Melvin.
- Cop: [Police chasing the monster] Its my first day in the force and I am chasing monsters.
- Bozo: [about Melvin, who is clumsily mopping] Would you take a look at that fucking guy? The mop boy. Can't even mop right!
- Julie: He's SO stupid!
- Slug: He's always got that shit-eatin' grin on his face. What's he so happy about?
- Bozo: I HATE that mop boy.
- Julie: [as Melvin approaches] I think that creep's comin' over here!
- Bozo: [sniffs] Julie, you... uh, smell somethin'?
- Julie: Ew! Pee-you! What's that stink?
- Melvin Junko: [sniffs] G-Gee, t-that's funny, I don't smell nothin'.
- Frank: Now if you all do just what we tell you, you just might, just might get your asses home all intact.
- The Toxic Avenger: Hey Bozo! You recognize this face? You know who this is? It's Melvin that's who it is!
- [kisses Bozo on the cheek as he drives erratically]
- Melvin's Mom: [hears the Toxic Avenger growling in the bathroom] My little Melvin. He must have finally reached puberty.
- Bozo: Julie, does it count if i graze em.
- Julie: You got to destroy them, Bozo... I want them dead.
- Bozo: Oh, now we're gonna get em. Come on, come on, come on now. Where the fuck is everybody, where the fuck is everybody.
- Bozo: How much is a kid on a bicycle.
- Slug: Where.
- Julie: 28 Points if you get both the kid, and the bike.
- Julie: Let's take a closer look,
- Wanda: Oh, he's a cute little boy isn't he.
- Julie: How pretty late, aren't ya buddy.
- Wanda: The coast is clear Bozo.
- Bozo: We got em.
- Bozo: We're gonna get him, we're gonna get him.
- Slug: You know, I think you oughta work a little bit on your gut. You're getting a little bit flabby there!
- Bozo: [stops lifting] What? What are you talking about? I ain't go no fat! There's no fat on here, there's no
- [grabs a piece of his stomach and is shocked]
- Bozo: ... FAT! FAT!
- [lifts weights harder]
- Bozo: .