Toy Story (1995)
Don Rickles: Mr. Potato Head
Photos
Quotes
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Sergeant : [about the second present Andy opens] It's... it's bedsheets!
Mr. Potato Head : Who invited that kid?
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Mr. Potato Head : Hey, a laser! How come *you* don't have a laser, Woody?
Woody : It's not a laser! It's a...
[sighs in frustration]
Woody : It's a little light bulb that blinks.
Hamm : What's with him?
Mr. Potato Head : Laser envy.
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[Mr. Potato Head rearranges his facial features crazily]
Mr. Potato Head : Hey, Hamm. Look, I'm Picasso!
Hamm : I don't get it.
Mr. Potato Head : You uncultured swine! What're you lookin' at, ya hockey puck?
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[the toys are meeting Buzz for the first time]
Hamm : So where you from? Singapore? Hong Kong?
Buzz : Well, no. Actually, I-I'm-- I'm stationed up in the Gamma Quadrant of Sector Four.
[as Buzz speaks, Woody looks down at the cardboard box and finds that everything that Buzz is saying is from the back of the box]
Buzz : As a member of the elite Universe Protection Unit of the Space Ranger Corps, I protect the galaxy from the threat of invasion... from the evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance!
Mr. Potato Head : [nonplussed] Oh, really? I'm from Playskool.
Rex : And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not really from Mattel. I'm actually from a smaller company that was purchased in a leveraged buyout.
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Buzz : What's going on?
Woody : Nothing that concerns you space man, just us toys.
Buzz : I'd better have a look anyway.
[he looks through Lenny the binoculars]
Buzz : Why is that soldier strapped to an explosive device?
Woody : [moves Lenny] That's why. Sid.
Buzz : [seeing a dog] Sure is a hairy fella...
Woody : [re-moving the binoculars] No, no, that's Scud, you idiot. *That* is Sid.
Buzz : [Sid is laughing maniacally] You mean that happy child?
Mr. Potato Head : That ain't no happy child!
Rex : He tortures toys - just for fun!
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Mr. Potato Head : [noticing Woody calling from Sid's house] Son of a building block! It's Woody!
Hamm : He's in the psycho's bedroom!
Bo Peep : Woody?
Woody : Boy, am I glad to see you guys!
Slinky Dog : I knew you'd come back!
Bo Peep : What are you doing over there?
Woody : It's a long story, I'll explain later. Here! Catch this!
[Woody throws a string of Christmas lights across to Andy's window, which Slinky grabs successfully]
Slinky Dog : I got it!
Woody : Good going Slink! Now tie it onto something!
Mr. Potato Head : Wait, I have a better idea! How about we don't?
[snatches the lights off Slinky]
Slinky Dog : Hey!
Bo Peep : Potato Head!
Mr. Potato Head : Did you all take those Stupid Pills this morning? Have you forgotten what he did to Buzz?
[the other toys shake their head]
Mr. Potato Head : And now you wanna let him back over here?
Woody : No, no. You got it all wrong Potato Head. Buzz is fine. Buzz is right here. He's with me.
Mr. Potato Head : You are a liar!
Woody : No i'm not!
[calling to Buzz]
Woody : Buzz, come over here and tell the nice toy's that you're not dead!
[Buzz sits on the floor of Sid's Room, peeling off the sticker of his wrist communicator]
Woody : Just a sec.
Woody : [walks back into Sid's room and calls over to Buzz] Buzz, will you get up here and gimme a hand?
[Buzz throws his broken-off arm to Woody]
Woody : Ha-ha, ha-ha. That's real funny. THIS IS SERIOUS!
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[Mr. Potato Head watches hopefully as Andy open birthday presents]
Mr. Potato Head : Mrs. Potato Head, Mrs. Potato Head, Mrs. Potato Head... hey, I can dream, can't I?
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Slinky Dog : [after Buzz gets knocked out the window and lands into the bushes nearby] Hey guys, RC's trying to tell us something.
Rex : What is it Boy?
R.C. the Race Car : [RC whirrs his wheels]
Mr. Potato Head : He's saying that this is *no* accident!
Bo Peep : What do you mean?
Mr. Potato Head : I mean Humpty Dumpty was pushed, by Woody!
[the toys all stare at Woody in shock]
Woody : Wait a minute, You don't think I even meant to knock Buzz out the window, do you? Potato Head?
Mr. Potato Head : That's Mr. Potato Head to *you* you backstabbing murderer!
Woody : Now, guys, it was an accident. C'mon, you-you've gotta believe me.
Slinky Dog : We believe ya, Woody. Right, Rex?
Rex : [nervously] Well, I mean, uh, I don't like confrontations!
Mr. Potato Head : Couldn't handle Buzz cutting on your playtime, could you Woody? Didn't wanna face the fact that Buzz might be Andy's *new* favourite toy. So you got rid of him. Well what if Andy starts playing with *me* more Woody, huh? You gonna knock me out the window too?
Hamm : I don't think we should give him the chance.
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Woody : [running towards Buzz in a mocking sort of manner] Buzz! Oh, Buzz! Buzz Lightyear! Buzz Lightyear, thank goodness! We've got trouble!
Buzz : Trouble? Where?
Woody : Down there. Just down there. A helpless toy! It's - It's trapped, Buzz!
Buzz : Then we've no time to lose.
[Buzz jumps over to the side of the desk, while Woody sneaks over to RC's remote, waking him up, and aiming him directly at Buzz]
Buzz : I don't see anything!
Woody : Uh, he's there. Just - Just keep looking.
[Woody sends RC driving towards Buzz. Buzz jumps out of the way, and RC crashes into the pin-up board in the corner, knocking all the pins down around Buzz. The board crashes down into Andy's globe, knocking it loose, rolling towards Buzz]
Woody : [Buzz jumps out of the globe's way, onto the windowsill, but the globe strikes Andy's folding-arm desk lamp. It spins over Woody, who ducks out of the way, and hits Buzz, sending him flying out the window]
Hamm , Mr. Potato Head : [stop their card game, and run over to the window in panic] BUZZ!
Woody : Buzz!
[Buzz flies into the bushes nearby and disappears]
Slinky Dog : [the rest of Andy's toys gather round] I don't see him in the driveway. I think he bounced into Sid's Yard.
[Woody gulps and backs away from the window after what happened]
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Mr. Potato Head : [From in the Cardboard box they'd been placed in for Moving] How did I get stuck with *you* as a moving buddy?
Rex : Everyone else was picked.
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Sergeant : Molly's first present is... Mrs. Potato Head! Repeat, a Mrs. Potato Head!
Hamm : Way to go, Ida-ho!
Mr. Potato Head : Gee, I'd better shave!
[pulls off his moustache]
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Sergeant : [he and the other green soldiers leap out of the bucket onto Woody] There he is, men! Get him!
Mr. Potato Head : Let's string him up by his pull string!
[he and the other toys, apart from Slinky and Bo Peep rush on over toy Woody, and attempt to throw him out]
Bo Peep : Would you boys stop it?
Andy : Okay, Mom, I'll be right down; I've gotta get Buzz.
[all the toys return to their places as Andy enters his room, looking for Buzz]
Andy : Mom, do you know where Buzz is?
Andy's Mom : No, I haven't seen him.
[Mr. Potato Head looks grimly from behind Etch, having drawn a hangman noose]
Andy's Mom : Andy, I'm heading out the door!
Andy : But Mom, I can't find him!
Andy's Mom : Well honey, just grab some other toy; now, come on!
Andy : [picks up Woody and heads to the car] Okay.
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Rex : Hey, Woody? Where'd you go?
Mr. Potato Head : He's lying, Buzz ain't there.
[Woody returns with Buzz' detached arm, hiding it slightly from the other toys]
Woody : Oh, hi Buzz. Why don't you say hello to the guys over there?
Woody : [Imitating Buzz' voice] Hiya fellas. To infinity and beyond!
Rex : [while Slinky and Bo Peep look excited] Hey look, it's Buzz!
Woody : [shakes the arm's hand] Yeah, hey, Buzz. Let's show the guys our new secret best-friends hand shake. Gimme five, man!
[Hi fives Buzz's severed arm]
Hamm : [to Mr. Potato Head] Something's screwy here.
Woody : So, you see. We're friends now, guys. Aren't we, Buzz?
[imitates Buzz]
Woody : You bet, give me a hug.
[makes the arm grab his neck and pull him forward into a hug; chuckles]
Woody : Oh. I love you, too.
Slinky Dog : See? It is Buzz!
[to Mr. Potato Head]
Slinky Dog : Now give back the lights, Potato Head.
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Mr. Potato Head : Ages three and up! It's on my box! Ages three and up! I'm not supposed to be babysitting Princess Drool!
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Sergeant : [he can't see what Andy is holding up] It's a...
Rex : It's A WHAT? WHAT IS IIIITTTTT?
[Rex shakes the table, inadvertently knocking off the TalkBoy and causing the batteries to fall out]
Rex : Oh, no!
Mr. Potato Head : Oh, you big lizard! Now we'll never know what it is!
Rex : Way to go, Rex!
[moves forward]
Woody : [as the toys struggle to put the batteries back in the TalkBoy] No, no, turn 'em around! Turn 'em around!
Hamm : He's putting them in backward!
[to Mr. Potato Head]
Hamm : Hey, you're putting 'em in backwards!
Woody : PLUS IS POSITIVE! MINUS IS NEGATIVE! Oh, let me!
[jumps down]
Sergeant : [downstairs, into the Baby Monitor] Red alert! Red alert! Andy is coming upstairs!
[Woody puts the batteries back in properly and picks the Talkboy up]
Sergeant : ... juvenile intrusion, repeat! Assume your positions now!
Woody : ANDY'S COMING! Everybody back to your places! Hurry!
[mayhem breaks out]
Mr. Potato Head : [in a panic] Where's my ear? Who's seen my ear? Did you see my ear?
Rex : Out of my way! Here I come, here I come!
[Rex bonks his head with bucket]
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Woody : Has everybody picked a moving buddy?
Hamm : Moving buddy? You can't be serious!
Rex : I didn't know we were supposed to have one already!
Mr. Potato Head : [holding his left arm in his right hand] Do we have to hold hands?
[All laugh]
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Mr. Potato Head : [while playing Battleship] Ah, ha. B-3.
Hamm : Miss. G-6.
Mr. Potato Head : Aw, you sunk it!
[Hamm chuckles]
Mr. Potato Head : Are you peeking?
Hamm : Hey, quit your whining and pay up.
[Mr. Potato Head plls off one of his ears]
Hamm : No, no, not the ear. Gimme the nose.
Mr. Potato Head : [pulls off his nose] How 'bout 3 out of 5?
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Mr. Potato Head : [as Woody tries to persuade everyone that Buzz is alright so that they may help him over] Wait just a minute. What are you trying to pull?
Woody : [throwing both hands into the air, accidentally revealing Buzz' severed arm completely] Nothing!
[the toys from Andy's Room scream in horror, and Rex throws up at the sight of it. Realizing his mistake, Woody tries to hide the arm behind his back]
Hamm : Oh, that is disgusting!
Mr. Potato Head : Murderer!
Woody : No! No, no, no, no! It's not what you think. I swear!
Mr. Potato Head : Save it for the jury! I hope Sid pulls your voice box out, ya creep!
[throws the string of Christmas lights out the window, which go flying back to Sid's house, and land into Sid's Yard]
Woody : [pleading for mercy] No! No! No, no! Don't leave! Don't leave! You've gotta help us, please! You don't know what's it's like over here!
Mr. Potato Head : [he and the other toys start to leave, except Slinky] Come on let's get outta here.
Hamm : Go back to your lives, citizens. Show's over.
Woody : [to Slinky, who's also beginning to leave] Slink! Slink, please! Please, listen to me!
Woody : [Slinky sadly closes the blinds] No! No, come back!
Woody : [sadly] SLI-I-I-I-NKYYY!