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GA Review

[edit]
This review is transcluded from Talk:Yucamane/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 00:23, 19 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]


I'll review this in the next few days. ceranthor 00:23, 19 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • "Yucamane, together with the volcanoes Yucamane Chico and Calientes farther north, forms a Pleistocene volcanic group" -reword to move the "together ... north" to the end of the sentence, after "forms ... group"
  • "The last dated eruption of Yucamane occurred 1,320 BCE; the occurrence of historical activity" - I know these aren't meant to be contradictory, but to a lay reader I think they might be. What do you mean to say when you refer to "the last dated eruption"?
Not sure that the first is a problem? Took a stab at the second issue. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 21:35, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Geography and geomorphology
  • "Yucamane lies in the Tacna Region, Candarave Province, Candarave District,[4] west of lake Vilacota.[5]" - no mention of Peru; it should be there
  • "The town of Candarave lies 11 kilometres (6.8 mi) southwest from the volcano,[6][7][8] and the city of Tacna 90 kilometres (56 mi) south.[9] " -reword; awkwardly phrased and could cut out some verbiage here
  • " to a point close to the col between Yucamane and Calientes" - brief description of what a col is?
  • "The edifice of the volcano and surrounding region are part of the Vilacota-Maure protected area.[13]" - any idea how large this protected area is? that would be pertinent
  • "Seven volcanoes have been active in Peru since the arrival of the Spaniards," -which was when?
  • "Finally, the three volcanoes Ampato, Chachani and Coropuna have heights exceeding 6,000 metres (20,000 ft).[20]" - why does this matter?
  • "Yucamane is a 5,495-metre (18,028 ft)[1] 5,500-metre (18,000 ft)[9] or 5,508-metre (18,071 ft) high compound volcano,[21" - for readability purposes, might be worth noting that its exact height is a matter of dispute, then provide the different heights. Or you could spread them out a bit and mention the exact height is disputed; I've done the latter at Silver Star Mountain (Skamania County, Washington) for an example
  • "summit crater; this crater in turn has a smaller crater"- too many instances of "crater" in such close proximity
  • "Several other volcanoes lie north of Yucamane, such as the 5,310-metre (17,420 ft) or 5,355-metre (17,569 ft) high Yucamane Chico and the 5,358-metre (17,579 ft) or 5,368-metre (17,612 ft) high Calientes, which form a[2][21] 11-kilometre (6.8 mi) long[4] north-south volcanic chain with Yucamane;[7][6][21] other volcanoes include San Pedro and the much older Nazaparco.[29]" - very long sentence; separate into two perhaps?
  • "Nazaparco consists of andesitic rocks and rhyolitic block-and-ash flows,[30] while Yucamane Chico and Calientes are surrounded by radially extending lava flows like Yucamane proper.[27] Calientes have a degraded summit crater.[3] They are eroded and show evidence of sector collapses[31] and glaciation,[32] " - Just as a starting note so I don't forget... what does "they" mean here?
  • "The Yucamane fault runs in a north-south direction across the volcanoes; the Yucamane Chico volcano roughly coincides with the intersection of this fault, with a northwest-southeast trending Yucamane Chico fault.[12]" - I don't understand the last part of this sentence... is that another fault? if so, it's unclear
Can't find the surface area of that protected area. Odd. I presume that 6000 metres are important because most volcanoes are not that high. The problem with saying "its exact height is a matter of dispute" is that the sources don't say so; they silently disagree with each other. Reworded that and the other issues. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 21:35, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Geology
  • "The subducting slab releases fluids which induce the formation of melts which are then erupted on the surface as volcanism.[38] " - "which... which"; one "which" needs to be replaced
  • "Subduction is not steady along the plate margin" - not sure "steady" is the correct word here
Done (?) and done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 21:35, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Climate and natural features
  • Let me know if you object to the name change; just wanted to merge the trivia section here and that name seemed like a good way to do it
  • "Vegetation around the volcano includes a humid tundra with overall low vegetation density on its upper slopes, and paramo and montane steppe vegetation east/west and south of the volcano on its lower slopes, respectively.[49] Quenoa woods have been observed on its slopes,[50]" - too many instances of "slopes" in close proximity
  • "The scorpion species Brachistosternus ninapo is named after the volcano; the term ninapo is a portmanteau of the Quechua word for "fire-spitting mountain"; the scorpion was discovered on the slopes of the volcanoes Yucamane and El Misti.[50]" - separate into at least two sentences. it's a run-on as is
Good merger; I wasn't really happy with that Trivia section anyway, too lonely and these sections tend to attract a bunch of drive by mentions. Did the rest. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 21:35, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Eruptive history
  • "Thermal anomalies of about 3 °C (5.4 °F) of uncertain origin have been observed on Yucamane by satellite imagery.[64] " - any speculation in the source as to why or what this may indicate?
The source explicitly states that it's unclear for Yucamane. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 21:35, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Images
Maybe? I think both of then are much busier than the current, but they may fit into other sections. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 21:35, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • Earwig's tool checks out
  • Standardize so no refs have all caps
  • Likewise, you should stick to authors either using first/middle initials or entire full names spelled out
  • ref 5 lacks end punctuation
  • For ref 14, " Gałaś, Panajew & Cuber 2015, p. 61,62.", why not just a page range?
  • Sources seem wholly reliable and comprehensive
I think that ref 5 is an issue with the {{Cite GVP}} template. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 21:35, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
General
  • Try to avoid linking the same thing throughout the same article multiple times; I delinked lava flow a handful of times

Good work. This shouldn't take much time to tune up. I've gone through and made some copyedits to start. ceranthor 20:58, 20 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Should be good to pass this. ceranthor 20:34, 21 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]